This blog has been brought out of incidental retirement to address a growing concern – ‘the large number of growing concerns that everyone has’. It’s no secret that I have a reputation of being somewhat of a problem-solver amongst my readers. I don’t know why that is, but it gives me a plausible reason to start what I call the ‘Dear Know-it-all’ section of the blog. So if you have any questions, concerns, problems, etc., please make sure you don’t send them to me because I have a huge backlog.
Our first question comes from a long term reader who’s promised to stop sending me videos of cats if I help him out:
I have recently moved to Bangalore and am having a very difficult time crossing the road due to the maddening traffic. This results in me reaching my office late and in turn making my boss look reproachfully in my direction. What should I do?
Now, contrary to popular belief, crossing a road in Bangalore is not science, it’s an art. Look left, right, look left again, pray for strength, walk, jump over the open manhole, wave at the good man in the car to stop (his car, not his phone call), run, swerve right, swerve left, swerve right again, wave at the good man on the bike to stop(from doing wheelies and his bike), execute a triple twist, double spin somersault over the people coming from the other end and you’re done! Your mileage may vary.
Next up is someone with excellent taste and a question of national importance:
One of my most favourite things to do(besides refreshing your site’s homepage) is watching cricket. The recent rotation policy has drawn a lot of criticism from everyone. What is your opinion on this?
Your biggest fan!
Dear my biggest fan,
The rotation policy is obviously a Greg Chappell led conspiracy aimed at getting back at Sourav Ganguly. I tell all about it in my upcoming controversial tell-all book – ’24 ways to make pasta healthier’. In the meantime, I’ll just ask you this – have you ever seen Dhoni and Chappell together in the same room at the same time? I didn’t think so!
Until next time, this is your ever-humble know-it-all, signing out!